Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Sexual Tension

Samuel Horton March 18 at 1:31am
aye babez u'z won get out uh hurr and head back to muh apaatment !?

Brie Lyndsey Moore March 18 at 1:34am
oh bbyboii if yo broke az hayd ah appahtment i would bbyz

Samuel Horton March 18 at 1:35am
aye maan i iz tryin to get out muh rentz basement. iz hard out durr for a p.i.m.p. u no

Brie Lyndsey Moore March 18 at 1:37am
L00k n1qq4 all 1 tryna say iz 1 dun w4nn4 be a b00ty c4ll

Samuel Horton March 18 at 1:40am
u aint gon b no dam b00ty c4ll, ho.
i iz gon tr33t you so rite jus u wait n c

Brie Lyndsey Moore March 18 at 1:41am
0H B4Bii y0u Suchh4 g00d M4Yn3, y0u kn0 ii be 7riipiin S0m3tiim3s D0

Samuel Horton March 18 at 1:42am
iz aight babez u no i luv u wit all muh ♥ cuz u is muh homegurl. . . dat i like 2 bang u no

Brie Lyndsey Moore March 18 at 1:44am
0 B4Bii ii l0v3 yuu t00.
y0u b33 3rry7h4ng 1 n33d

Samuel Horton March 18 at 1:46am
iz culd b yo babyboi, uz culd be muh babygurl. niggah itd be soo rite, uz culd be muh sunshine

Brie Lyndsey Moore March 18 at 1:48am
0h b4bii ii s0 in lov3 WiiT yuu

Samuel Horton March 18 at 1:50am
wez shuld not git in da habbit uh typin like dis cuz wez soun ST00P1D Brie Lyndsey Moore March 18 at 1:51am
D47 W3 D0 B4BiiB0ii

Samuel Horton March 18 at 1:52am
i totes wish i waz gangsta cuz id own dat shiiet

Brie Lyndsey Moore March 18 at 1:54am
B4Bii Yuu 0wn iiT Juzz Fyn3

Samuel Horton March 18 at 1:55am
aye ho uz rite iz a mothafuckin p.i.m.p.

Brie Lyndsey Moore March 18 at 1:56am
Yuu D4 B4LLiiN3S7 Niiqq4 ii KN0

Samuel Horton March 18 at 1:58am
an uz da bes bitch i eva set cock in

(Oh wow.)

Brie Lyndsey Moore March 18 at 1:58am

I mean


Samuel Horton March 18 at 2:00am
Noo I don know what breasticles are, are they like muh booobz ?

Brie Lyndsey Moore March 18 at 2:01am

Samuel Horton March 18 at 2:02am

Brie Lyndsey Moore March 18 at 2:07am

Horton March 18 at 2:10am
I'm a kinky guy and you I'm thinkin' we should do it when you're feelin' that way. Like, diarrhea sex or some shit like that.

Brie Lyndsey Moore March 18 at 2:13am
Samuel, why don't we have lives?

Samuel Horton March 18 at 2:16am
Because we're cool without lives, lives are over rated.

P-E-N-I-S spells Penis !
What's up ?
Conflexiation, on Venus.
Lower gravitational pull on my dick.
Pull really hard and you'll get some sick shit. . .
Yes, it's white,
Here it comes,
Here's the cream.
Whipe it from your mouth,
And say "nice."
What's up, that's random.
W-T-F spells WTF ! Brie Lyndsey Moore March 18 at 2:17am
I completely agree.

oh by the way,
photos are totally dead baby.

Samuel Horton March 18 at 2:19am
Thanks !
You know what else is totally dead baby ?
The fact that you're on my myspace top now.

Brie Lyndsey Moore March 18 at 2:20am

Samuel Horton March 18 at 2:25am

Brie Lyndsey Moore March 18 at 2:27am

I feel special.

and, this is probably one of the most intense conversations I have ever had.

Samuel Horton March 18 at 2:31am
Me too, man.
We some cool motherfuckers.

Brie Lyndsey Moore March 18 at 2:32am
That we is.

You're honestly one of my best friends.
you and mark.

Samuel Horton March 18 at 2:33am
You've become one of mine already.
It's funny how fast I've gotten comfortable with you.

Brie Lyndsey Moore March 18 at 2:34am
I know I didn't think it would happen,
I figured we'd talk once in a while, just casual conversation
'Oh hey how's the weather?' kinda thing

Samuel Horton March 18 at 2:36am
And yet, we're sitting here talking about rape juice and diarrhea sex.

Brie Lyndsey Moore March 18 at 2:37am
I know,
funny how things work out

Samuel Horton March 18 at 2:38am
And you didn't think I'd be all that interesting.
tisk tisk

Brie Lyndsey Moore March 18 at 2:45am
I never said thaattttttt

Samuel Horton March 18 at 2:46am
Yes you did !
The second night we talked.
I swear you did.

Brie Lyndsey Moore March 18 at 2:49am
Oh yeah

I'm sorry

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

One, two, three, four

I guess I just felt like blogging.
I haven't in a while, so why not ?

Basically I'm just trying to make it through each day. Trying to keep faith in the world, and the people who I'd like to believe actually give a fuck about me. No, not my friends. Believe it or not, I'm talking about my own sister. I haven't spoken to her since winter, except for the one day she came out to my dad's to "see me." I'll skip the details, but let's just say that our relationship is pretty much fucked. She's going to have to do some intense growing up before I can even consider getting over it all.

But since my other sister, Ashlee, and I have stopped talking to the other sibling, we've grown a lot closer. I wouldn't take that back for the world. She has become one of my best friends, and I'd like to believe that she thinks the same about me.
Yeah, we still fight, but it's so funny how much quicker we get over it now.

My Love Life - or lack there of - is kind of bugging me. It seems that I just can't be satisfied with anyone anymore. There was this guy who is, physically, everything I want. He's even got an amazing personality, and one of the best hearts I've seen in anyone in a long time. But I can't get over the stupid fact that he listens to shit music. Not only that, but he's my sister's age, and he lives in another state. So, of course I'm hesitant to persue him. I just annoy myself so much because I flirt, and flirt, and flirt and it just fucks everything up. He's an amazing friend, and now, because of me being a tease, we don't talk as much as we used to.

And he's not even the only one. I was really into this guy while I was in Alabama. He kind of did the same thing I did to the other guy, except not as hardcore. First off, he's adorable. And to make things worse, he's funny and actually really smart. We spent a night together. Nothing happened. We actually just snuck out, smoked, talked about pussy and dirtbikes and whatnot, but there was that sort of vibe that we were both putting on a show. After we got back in the house and almost woke everyone up, we just layed there and talked until the sun came up. It was, hands down, the best night I spent in Alabama last July. After another day or two of hanging around each other, and me busting my ass after him almost begging me to skate with him, I decided to talk to his sister about my developing emotions. He found out, then just kind of hung around this little eleven year old looking guy - as if trying to make me jealous or something. It didn't work, it just pissed me off so I left. I still care about him, but we haven't talked much since. I don't know where we stand as friends anymore. Maybe I'll find out next time I'm in Alabama. . .

Being back in New York isn't any better, though.
My parents like to fight a lot. Shit gets broken, foul names come pouring out, and sanity is almost lost. I know, it sounds over dramatic, but if you just experienced it like I do, you'd see what I mean. I know that my life is truly a walk in the park compaired to certain others' and I really am appreciative of that, but it doesn't make it any less hard to deal with. What really sucks is that it's just so damn consistant. There may be three or four days before shit hits the fan all over again. It's not like I can just walk out in the middle of it, no matter how much I wish I could.

There is one major brightside that I acknowledge, however. At least I have God. I struggle with my faith. It wouldn't be real if I didn't. But at the end of the day, when all is said and done, I know that God is the only source of strength I can rely on these days. I don't care how many people tell me He doesn't exsist. It's not my problem if you don't believe, but I do, so leave me be.
I suppose I'm done ranting now.
I think it's time for bed.

- Samuel

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Wow, I can't believe it's come to this.

A few lousy random "hello" texts every few months and a cheap grin and wave when I see you. I fucking loved you. God, you don't even know how much I loved you. When I'm with you, I don't give a fuck about anything else in the world. I know that to you, I'm just a little boy that helped kill time. But you were my first love. Three years, man. Three fucking years, and now this is where we are. How can you be happy with that fucking dyke ? She's a stupid fucking bitch, and she treats you like shit. You only want me when you can't have me. I was going to dump Chris for you, but when he dumped me you were nowhere to be found. You didn't even tell me bye before I left. I fucking hate you, but at the same time, I'm still so in love with you.

Saturday, March 21, 2009


I fucking hate all the people in my life and I hate myself for letting them get to me.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009


Brie and I are fucking P.I.M.P.
Fuckin' get used to it.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Well, I did it.

Chris is out of my life for good.
I blocked him on MSN, I deleted him from my myspace friend's list, I deleted his number from my phone, and I even deleted his sister from MSN. If he didn't get the fucking message last night, we will now. I am just so damn glad I stopped worrying and cheated on him. Emi was worth it, and so was Amanda. Even though Amanda is one of my best friends and we make out all the time anyway. he, I feel a lot better now. I can move on. Finally.

All the ugly people in the world should be straight.

And all the attractive people should be bi, so everyone has a fair chance.
That's the world that I want to live in.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

There's a thin line between curiousity and stupidity.

I was browsing this fucking homo's myspace "group," when I came across a few profiles of some young boys. Their age either said thirteen, nineteen or like one-hundred-eighty-four. Whether or not these are real children, there are still photos of young boys, half naked, on myspace. I know we can't stop all child pornography or variations of it from being on the web, but myspace could do a hell of a lot more of a better job and PROTECTING these kids. This "group" is actually a profile that a thirty-nine year old man created as a support group for gay youths. Sure, maybe this man's intentions were good, but it has spiraled out of control and now there are numerous boys posting shit like "You're such a hot daddy, call me" and then put their fucking phone number in a comment for the whole world to see. Most of the younger profiles I found are usually private, thank God, but the default photos are still of half naked boys. It just sickens me. These kids can be curious about their sexuality, I know I was, but there is absolutely NO reason that they have to be fucking stupid and post stuff like that on there. Their parents obviously haven't taught them the dangers of online sexual predators, and their parents must not give enough of a shit to monitor their online activity. It's just sad. This world is a fucked up place.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

I honestly believe I'm crazy.

I can't like someone - anyone, a guy or girl - without thinking too much about it. I like this girl now, I think. I'm afraid, honestly. I don't want to hurt her, and I don't want to end up being fooled by myself again. She's the first girl I've liked since Emi, and that was what. . . three years ago ? I just recently got over Emi. Emi left me for a fucking huge dyke, too. So that was a blow on my self confidence. What if I can't be masculine enough for this girl ? I mean, I'm not going to force myself to act butch and shit, but what if myself isn't enough ? I really don't see anything that great about me, and in time I'm sure she won't either. Wow, I sound emo. And to make it all worse, I'm blogging about it. haha But what's funny about this whole situation is; we are both aware that we want each other. The dancing around the subject of our crush, the consistant flirting and the way we joke around, it's really obvious. I think we're both just waiting to see who will cave and admit it first. This girl is seriously amazing. She's just so cool, and she doesn't try. Her sense of humor is the best. She tries to say she isn't perverted, but she is, and it's great. And she doesn't think she's attractive, but she definately is. She's actually pretty girly, too. I don't usually like that, but it's refreshing with her. She has a nice style. What's weird is that we've barely spoken today, it's actually bugging me a little. hm.

Honestly by Cartel just came on my ipod. ha, This song brings back massive memories. Erin, my best friend, is turning eighteen this Sunday. Man, I can't believe how we've grown up. It really just seems like last weekend we were sitting at her house, obsessing over Hellogoodbye and The Early November and talking about how hot emo guys are. haha But the best memory I have with Erin is definately the night she and Evan spent the night over at the apartment in Good Hope, and we went to Wal Mart at three a.m. and got Fast and Furious on fucking VHS. I was about eight, and she was like eleven or twelve. We stayed up all night, and watched the sun come up on my trampoline and jumped until about seven, that's when we all finally went to sleep. Evan is Ashlee's (my sister)age, and Erin's brother. They were best friends too. I really miss the old days. Before New York, before Eric, before all the bullshit in my life. Things were great then. Ask anyone, and they'll tell you. Even my mom will say it. But now I have to go get Erin a ridiculously sappy card, and put together a Jewish bank roll to send to her. haha

So, this is the end of the first serious post. Probably the last, too. I always forget about things like this. Oh well.


Monday, March 9, 2009

First post, eh ?

Well, I made this blog only because Carly asked me to. 
She joined Emo Earth (heh, Ridiculous, I know) for me, so this was only fair. 

je t'aime, carlito.